How to deal with judgements and criticism

We can't allow ourselves to be confined to negative relationships we've got.

Overview

Relationships are one of the main areas in human life that requires alot of work. As human beings we are social and needs the sense of belonging. We have various relationships in our life with so many people, near and far. Having a healthy relationship is vital to our mental health and affects us all immensely. People around you have a different image and perspective of you in their head. You maybe dearly loved by one but still feel a sense of grudge from someone else. We play many contrasting roles in our lives that relates us to other people : son, daughter , sibling, spouse, parent, co worker, boss, social worker and so on. One single individual wears so many crowns depending on the role they play with people. Your behavior also varies according to the relationship you are in. You will never behave to your parents the same way you put yourself at work where you need to be at your best self. “Put on your best behavior”, is the most common phrase we tell our kids before a social gathering or meetings. In a moment of time you may be having an argument with someone, but as your lover, your child or your parent, anyone you love and confide in comes along, you feel secured again. I feel people really need to focus on relationship and building a healthy bond with people around us. Afterall, we humans are born to live together as a collective social being , to evolve from generation to generation. Companionship plays a crucial and significant role in human lives.

How to spot a green eyed person:

lessons & strategies to handle criticizers

When someone says something that triggers you and pushes the button, you must keep it mind that this is nothing about you. It is coming from their cup. How the person’s cup is, whether full of love & compassion or it is full of toxicity & negativity. You must first observe their intellect, where are those dialogues coming from.  99% of the time is not about you, but it is coming from their perspective/ image that they have created in their head about you. Everyone forms various different image of you in their heads, to someone you maybe a kind, loving person but there will be someone who doesn’t not feel the same way about you. And that is OKAY! Not everyone has to like you and you cannot go around pleasing everybody at the stake of your being. Therefore, do not take those words personal, Remember it is them and not you.

Is your cup filled with compassion & empathy?

Walk away, leave, ignore, do whatever it takes but don’t engage in unnecessary explanations and justifications. That person ain’t gona listen to you. Do not waste time trying to prove a point and stoop to their level. Smile and walk away with the thought, “This is not true in my world, I will not allow your judgements to stir my emotions.” Try your best to keep your emotions in check as negative comments tend to put you off. Stay grounded and find an anchor that helps you maintain your stability. You have to prepare a mental dialogue that you keep telling yourself when such situations occur. 

  • I am good enough
  • This is not true in my world.
  • I cut and release anything that does not serve me and my higher purpose.
  • I am sorry if you think that way and I wish you can see things from a different perspective.
  • I wish you well, I forgive you.
  • I am protected, I am safe. 
  • I don’t allow you to hurt me.
  • I am responsible for how I feel right now and I would like to get ahead of this criticism. 

 

Work on yourself and build yourself so strong that none others can take advantage of your weakness.

Have you ever been with someone who always seems to have something happening to them all the time and they just complain non stop. Listening to them all the time can get quite exhausting and you tend to pull your energy down along with their drama. You are always trying to be a good friend , offering help and solutions but they never seem to want to fix anything. Instead they complain and thrive in crisis. They play the victim role and try to seek attention and sympathy to give them the sense of importance and “I matter”.

What can you do?

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If you are someone who is facing domestic violence or abuse in any form, physical or emotional, you need to step up and ask for help. Do not think that it is okay for someone else to treat you the way less than what you deserve and are worth of.

No matter how bad the other person maybe, I am sure you can find something, some quality that is positive about them. It does not have to related to you. They could be a good in some other stuff that you are not able to recollect. Not everyone is all bad, there is a positive side to every human being just like two sides of a coin. Always dig deeper, take a step back and observe them relative to something else. They might mean to you as a boss, but at home they could be a loving wife and a great mom. Try to look on the other side and find one positive aspect to them. You don’t have to tell them, it will only help you ease up the tension you build in your head.

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